Angel With A Shotgun
by RubyFiamma
Summary: [8059] [Angst] Gokudera is fed up with the way things have turned out and hasn't got anything left to give but Yamamoto doesn't think so and tries to convince him otherwise. [WARNINGS : Character Death Implication, Suicide Implication]


**Angel With A Shotgun**

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**A/N : This story is TYL (with similar plotlines) **

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_The future hasn't been too friendly to Gokudera Hayato, nor has the past. There was only a short period in his life, ten years to be exact, where he actually felt like he had something to live for. Now he wasn't so sure. He felt like he was shaming the tenth as he recalled his heart wrenching ideals of snowball fights and fireworks but now they were just that, empty words that rode on the air currents that billowed around him off into an aimless destination. They say not to look down, but in his current state of mind, he fears nothing except the bleak future that lies ahead without the one man that showed him there was good still left in this world, without the man he had opened his heart to, the man he had loved and vowed to protect but failed. Don't get the wrong idea, Gokudera Hayato wasn't_ **in **_love with the tenth, but he loved him all the same. Now there was nothing in the heart of Gokudera Hayato. It was nothing but a hollow empty shell, only functioning to sustain his life force._

"Gokudera?"

A soft and sullen voice floats to his ears through the wind.

He looks over his shoulder.

There stands the rain guardian, his brow furrowed and mouth twisted into a perplexed frown.

Gokudera's temperament had calmed these last ten years but being hot blooded was something that would never change about him. His anger was just dormant, he lacked the want to feel anything anymore. Rather than react, he ignored the once baseball player and returned his gaze to the Italian skyline, the city seeming so alive from so high up.

_Yamamoto Takeshi knew. He knew the pain that tortured the silver haired bomber felt because he felt it too. He felt inadequate and helpless, his heart drowning in an abyss of despair and anguish. After all, Tsuna had saved his life too. He too, felt that Tsuna had given him a reason to live, friends worth fighting for, a world more important than just baseball. He loved all of his friends, he loved Tsuna as well. It wasn't a romantic and lustful kind of love, it was a platonic love full of admiration, gratitude and respect._ _But there was a person, a man, that he might have loved just a bit more than Tsuna, a different kind of love, and that man was now standing on a ledge, shotgun in hand_.

"Can we talk?" His soft tone was barely audible in the gusts of wind that encircled the two guardians.

He could see Gokudera's shoulders rise and fall in an unheard sigh.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said flatly.

Yamamoto wanted to edge in closer but refrained, knowing all too well that Gokudera had a bad habit of acting before thinking and that one wrong move, one wrong word would take him out of Yamamoto's reach forever. "You don't think we should talk about what you're doing here?" Gokudera looked over his shoulder at the tall and lean, hazel eyed swordsman. He felt an all too familiar emotion creeping up his ribcage, wrapping its tendrils around his heart. "It's none of your fucking business what I'm doing," Gokudera says, his tone full of venom.

_It's a tone Yamamoto hasn't heard in a while. His words sting because of course it is his business. Not only because Gokudera Hayato is his ally, a member of the Vongola family or even because he's his friend, but because he's also the man that he loves. And maybe Gokudera doesn't know that, but he's never shied away from showing how he feels and he's not about to start. _

Yamamoto narrows his eyes, there's not much playfulness in them anymore. They don't bounce with the constant overzealous diligence and curiosity as they once did. "Of course it's my business," he says, wishing the words to have come out more softer than they sounded. "It's the family's business, it's Tsu..." he hesitated. "Tsuna's business -"

"Don't... Don't you fucking dare utter his name like he's here to give a shit," Gokudera spat. He turned back to the skyline. "He isn't here..." his voice was low and it trailed, being carried off by the wind.

Yamamoto took a step and reached for him but drew back, too scared that his attempt to comfort, to pull him back from the brink really, would cause the easily embarrassed and tempered man to recoil and lose his footing. "You're right... he's not. But we are... And you..."

_It was hard to choose the right words, it was hard to get his point across without angering Gokudera. It was hard to express what he was feeling because anger was beginning to boil inside him. _

_It wasn't an emotion Yamamoto felt often, he had lived most of his life care free and unaware, choosing to accept and move on, to find the brighter side, the good in the bad but since Tsuna's all too early departure from this world he had lost that part of him. He was all too familiar with angst nowadays. _

"You can't keep being so selfish," Yamamoto began, knowing that these words would have a volitile backlash but he said them with conviction.

_Gokudera Hayato wasn't usually careless, just reckless. He believed in act now, ask questions later mantra, he lived by it. In the years prior, Gokudera learned many things from the tenth, including how to be a better man. He recalls the day the tenth tells him not to waste his life on trivial things such as the pride of the Vongola or being his right hand man. He tells the tenth that he's realized this, and wants to strive to be the kind of right hand man of the Vongola Decimo that survives to laugh side by side by his_ **[beloved]** _boss. But there isn't any laughter, there isn't the Vongola Decimo and soon there isn't going to be a right hand man. _

He lifts the shotgun, holding it by the barrel and slings it over his shoulder, not caring that the sudden movement has caused him to teeter earning a horrified cry from Yamamoto.

_He finally thinks he's lost it, because now he's laughing ironically at the fact that here he was, shotgun in hand, standing on a ledge high above the city below him because he hadn't decided just which way he was going to exit this hell and yet he was staring death right in the face, challenging it and it doesn't take him so easily. It doesn't take him so easily has it had the tenth. _

"Gokudera!" yells Yamamoto, his tone is shaky but there is anger laced in with his fear. "I need you to get off that fucking ledge right now! Do you hear me? I need you to get down and just...just come back to me."

_Yamamoto hears the silverette laughing like a mad man and he's unsure of what scares him more, seeing the man he was and has been in love with for a very long time about to take his own life without a regard for anyone else or witnessing that same intelligent and usually composed man become undone at the seams. He figures they go hand in hand and regardless he's petrified. _

"What was that?" Gokudera muses in between hysterical laughter. "You want me to come back with you? You need me to come down off this ledge? That's fucking rich!"

_He spins on one heel to face Yamamoto and Yamamoto's heart leaps through his throat and his stomach plunges to the asphalt they stand on. Every movement Gokudera makes he's flirting with death and he's become drunk in his sorrow, unbelievably irrational. _

Yamamoto can't breathe, it feels like there are vice grips slowly pressing his ribcage inward, causing his lungs to collapse and his heart to burst.

"Tell me, you fucking idiot, why do you care so much? Huh? Wasn't this you ten years ago? Don't be such a fucking hypocrite, che!"

_He still hasone foot on the ledge and now he turns the shotgun upside down and places the twin barrels to his temple. His laughter has ceased and now despair clouds his otherwise resilient viridian orbs. He grits his teeth and wraps his finger around the trigger._

"Gokudera!" Yamamoto shouts desperately. "Please. Please just stop this," he pleads, tears threatening to surface, a lump forming in his throat.

_Gokudera's eyes darken, challenging Yamamoto. Yamamoto knows that he doesn't have much time, Gokudera isn't the type of man to bluff. _

"Why?" he asks suddenly. His tone is low, peaked with genuine curiosity.

_His sudden change in demeanor floors Yamamoto. He's just put his life into_ **_Yamamoto's hands_**.

_Waves of anxiety and fear wash over him and he can't fight the overwhelming urge to walk up to the bomber and grab him by his shirt collar, pulling Gokudera close so that there's less than an inch between their trembling lips. _

_He's finally had enough of this bullshit. Enough with the cat and mouse game, the beating around the bush. He didn't care if Gokudera accepted what he was about to tell him or not but at least in this situation he wasn't going to feel inadequate and helpless. He was going to save his life because he couldn't save Tsuna's and because Tsuna had saved his. _

**And because if Gokudera went down, he was going down with him.**

Go_kudera's eyes are wide but still flat, he's a little confused as how he allowed Yamamoto to invade his space so easily. He's a little confused as to how he allowed Yamamoto to grab him and he hasn't tried to tear his hand away and he's a little confused as to why he was gazing into the infuriated hazel eyes of the stupid baseball freak._

"Because!" Yamamoto shouts, his brow furrowed, his eyes hold a burning and intense glare.

_He feels a bit like Gokudera now, his oblivious attitude infuriating Yamamoto, as task not so easily done. He knows the words that come out of his mouth next probably will only get a foul reaction from Gokudera but anything, he's willing to try anything to get this man to come back to him, even if he hates him for it, at least he'll always be there. He draws in a sharp breath._

"Because **I love you**, idiot!"

_It's now Gokudera's turn to be floored. He's just been hit by Yamamoto with his favorite choice of weapon; a baseball bat to the gut. It knocks the wind right out of him. _

_An insane wave of several different emotions crash into him and the synapses of his brain don't seem to be making the right connections because he swears he just heard Yamamoto say that he loves him and what was more insulting was that the idiot was calling _him _an idiot._

"H-how can you say that?" he stammers.

The expression on Yamamoto's face softens but he doesn't let go of Gokudera. He fears that in one blink of an eye, he'll be limp in his arms or plummeting far beyond Yamamoto's reach. "Because it's the truth," he replies.

Gokudera's face scrunches into a furious scowl. He clicks the roof of his mouth with his tongue. "Talking about love like its such a casual thing, like you can just say this to me and I'll do what you want? You think that it'll ease your fucking concience before I blow my fucking brains out?"

Yamamoto sighs. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but he notes Gokudera hasn't tried to break free of his grip.

_Gokudera was furious yes, how could this man just tell him those three words so easily without thinking of the consequences? How could he just throw them around into the same air that stole away the tenth's words, his ideals, his memories? Would they too, be passed along the current to a vast and empty sky like everything said and promised before that? He wanted to know just how he could say such empty words to him. _

No... He needed to know, because he **loved him too**.

_There wasn't time to go into details, but Gokudera had loved the stupid baseball freak from the first time he laid eyes on him, nothing more than physical attraction at first with his long and lean athletic body and beautiful dark olive skin but what Gokudera had found attractive most of all was Yamamoto's wide and bright eyes. Gokudera loved them because he knew they were rare, uncommon amongst his ethnicity, because those caramel and chartreuse eyes had tiny flecks of gold if you were close enough to see them like he was now and because they didn't fall upon him full of judgement and loathing like the eyes in Italy. Slowly though, that nonchalant personality of Yamamoto's that Gokudera loved to hate had made him fall in love with him. It was because they were polar opposites, Yamamoto was everything he wanted but could never be. _

_Gokudera knew he didn't have time for love, he was destined to be the Vongola Decimo's right hand man and that he was but that dream had been shattered like a bullet through glass, the same way the bullet shattered his beloved tenth. He wasn't going to risk anymore hurt. It was too much, all of it weighing heavily on his heart. _

"Don't you want to live, Gokudera? Not just survive, but live? I'm giving you something to live for, right here." Yamamoto grabbed the bomber's shotgun clad hand and placed it over his heart. "And if you're done fighting this war, then put a bullet through me too because I can't...I just can't live without you."

_Yamamoto watches as a mixture of emotion plagued Gokudera's face and he couldn't read him. He looked from the shotgun to Yamamoto and back again. The scowl returned to his face this time with fierce intensity, he clenched his teeth and shoved the gun barrel into Yamamoto's chest_.

Yamamoto eyes locked on to Gokudera's furious jade eyes but he didn't budge.

And with an instant, Gokudera lowered the gun and smashed his lips onto the unsuspecting rain guardian.

The sudden ferocity of Gokudera's kiss knocked Yamamoto off his feet, taking Gokudera with him, the two of them landing hard on the asphalt with a thud.

Yamamoto grabbed hold of those silver tresses he had so longed to touch, pulling Gokudera into him, their lips meeting again and Yamamoto could taste whiskey and cigarettes on his tongue but he didn't care. He was reveling in the fact that he was alive because Gokudera had chosen **_him_**_._

_He had been ready to throw away all hope and faith, his life; just to keep this man safe because now he was everything he had left. _

_There weren't many things Yamamoto had left to be happy about in this world, but he was elated that he had just managed to save Gokudera's life and Gokudera had just saved his. _

**After all, he was his angel with a shotgun.**

_**Fiń**_

**Note : This story is based on the lyrics of Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab. **

**DISCLAIMER : I do own any of the Katekyō Hitman Reborn! characters or original plotlines, all credit goes to Akira Amano. **

**I do not own the title to nor the lyrics to Angel With A Shotgun, all credit goes to the original aritists, The Cab**


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